Every parent has a cupboard of things they never used. Almost all of them were gifts. Here are a few rules we use ourselves when buying for other people’s children.
Why so many gifts go unused
- The wrong age. A gift for a newborn is useful for three weeks, then it gets pushed aside.
- Duplication. Blankets, rattles and booties arrive in multiples from all directions.
- Too specific. A gadget for one single job gets used three times.
- Too lovely to use. Parents keep it “for special occasions” that never come.
The six-months-ahead rule
The most useful gift is the one parents open now and use in six months’ time. By then most of the other gifts will have dropped out of use, and yours will arrive at exactly the right moment.
For a newborn that means something for the weaning period, so around six months. For a one-year-old: something for the stage when they will be eating on their own.
What works for which occasion
For a birth
- A suction bowl and a soft spoon — useful from six months onwards.
- Practical things in quantity (muslins, bodysuits in a bigger size) — never surplus to requirements.
- Something for the parents, not the baby. That is the gift they are most pleased with and the one nobody brings.
For a first birthday
- A plate with compartments — at that age a child is almost certainly eating with their fingers.
- A cup they will drink from on their own.
- A board book that survives being handled by a one-year-old.
Which shape suits which age is explained in more detail in the guide by age.
What to avoid
- Clothes in newborn and 0–3 sizes — parents get too many and the baby outgrows them in three weeks.
- Noisy toys with batteries, unless the parents specifically want them.
- Scented care products. Choosing toiletries for a baby is personal and often medically driven.
If you don’t know what to buy, ask. “What do you need?” isn’t an awkward question — it is the only reliable route to a gift that gets used.
What to write on the card
Three suggestions that aren’t clichés:
- “For when she starts eating with you at the table. It’ll come in handy then.” — explains why the gift isn’t useful yet, and stops it being put away and forgotten.
- “No advice, just congratulations.” — parents get plenty of advice in the first months.
- “If you need anything, call. I mean it.” — and then genuinely be available.
A gift for a second child
With a second child the family already has almost everything. Three things work then: something consumable, something for the older child (who is often overlooked at that point), and an offer of help that is specific — a meal, childcare, a lift. Why people buy considerably less for a second child is covered in this piece.
